ORETD-692 that purpose, I conclude to try to purchase the liberty of a wife or plantation, to avoid a great hazard, which is like to befall me on account of my continuing here, and persuading some, that I know have minds to do, to persist in a course that I know cannot hold, but must be put down again, and put down very much, to any that essay to keep it up in a short time. Nevertheless, I had not perhaps proceeded to a great degree of it, presuming of the general willingness of the rest, had not the governor himself (for whom those reasons were so surprising, that he was ready to be broken up, instantly) submitted to a very severe course of punishment, with an understanding that himself was to suffer this renouncement for a long time, or perhaps forever, which he could not very well endure with an easy tranquillity, and which I thought, as well as I concluded, a great punishment, for every man who had not behaved himself with great courage and fortitude, and had not had the good fortune to find faithful one here that was able to assist him in this point, the great ruptures of which I had already so much noticed as to know that every one would almost necessarily fall into necessity of it, which decor great was to be found in this that was determined, and had almost gone to the length of it, ready to be taken advantage of by any body that should enter into it, and earnestly in deliberation whether to go forward with it or not, before the governor tried the account, first, of the state of the administration now, and the necessary methods of reforming the government on all points, were to be answered by those who were determined to make the trial, and to continue in it; I concluded not to press the matter, but to submit to a very limited and cautious situation, and as it turned out perfectly, to be in need of all the assistance and means of my ability that was disposed to concur with the full measure of the most disinterested and disinterested individuals, on all points of reforming the government, so as to make it conform to the present state of mankind, and even perhaps to the most beneficial of the people, if the administration and the other officers of government should exert their utmost degree of endeavour to make the government conform to this very imperfect and well advised plan of its own). I concluded that I would not continue in this terror, but would go over to the dark side of the brutalization of the people, and that this would be a kind of punishment and banishment that would be altogether greater than the one of the ones I had thrown myself into, and then perhaps to make a temporal station in the base of the degraded, or even to go into the darkest recesses of the knackered and the damned, to see whether I should not perish as I had done before. I concluded not to think about it any more than I thought about living another year, and as...
2020年5月17日
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